


By Any Other Name

by Film_Heaux_Extraordinaire



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 22:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4497093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Film_Heaux_Extraordinaire/pseuds/Film_Heaux_Extraordinaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short fic based on every West Wing character's name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Josh angst, my favorite thing in this world. Drunk Josh confides in not drunk Sam about God.

Joshua - (Hebrew) God is My Salvation

He stopped believing in God on November 12th, 1973.

He was twelve, and Joanie had been gone two years to the day. There was no particular reason he stopped believing that day; he just remembered feeling it all feeling very empty - he felt duped, being sold a lie for so long. The Lymans had never been very religious, but even their occasional trips to temple stopped suddenly after the funeral. It suddenly felt very ridiculous, at least to Josh, and his mother didn’t have the energy to drag him there every Saturday. His mother thought it was simple teenage rebellion, but college and law school passed and then campaign after campaign, and he never found himself in a synagogue once, which he chalked up to a lack of time rather than belief. But even on high holy days, he barely acknowledged faith of any kind, even as Toby attempted to convince Josh to join him at temple or celebrate with him, until he eventually grew tired of hearing Josh say “no.”  
It took a long time, and a drunken conversation with Sam, for Josh to figure out why he didn’t believe.  
“Sam, do you believe in God?” Josh asked, quietly, with a beer in his hand.  
“Yeah, I think so. I’d like to call myself an agnostic theist, you know -- I believe but what can I prove? What about you?” Sam said, having only had half a whiskey sour before sipping on water.  
“Sam, I’m drunk. Please don’t use words like ‘agnostic theist’ right now.” He grinned sloppily, but he still felt agitated. “I don’t, by the way. The whole God thing, it’s just bullshit.””  
Sam said nothing, so Josh kept going.  
“I mean, it’s not just Joanie, it’s not, even though any God who does that to anyone is fucked up. But it’s the thing about how God is what should save you, and how everything you do is about God, and how God is everything, all that shit. That’s bullshit. Like those preachers who say put even your own family beneath God? How could you do that? How could you be loyal to something so intangible, when there are things right in front of you that are so important?  
“Sam, you know we did this week? You know what we do every week? We decide whether women have agency over their own bodies, or if you can buy a gun at Wal-Mart, or if we’re gonna send men and women to die in other countries? How is this not the most important thing? How am I supposed to say fuck all and worry about the afterlife? This, this is what matters.”  
Sam was silent, staring at the bottom of his glass before patting his friend on the back and saying, “Alright, Josh, time to get you home.”  
“Sam?”  
“Yeah Josh?”  
“I still miss her so much.”  
“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the angst.  
> Next up: Donnatella Moss


End file.
